Better Together - What Destroys Relationships & What Builds Them - Rick Warren

What Destroys Relationships & What Builds Them

Better Together - Part 3

“Christ makes us one body and individuals who are connected to each other.”

Rom. 12:5 (GW)

1. SELFISHNESS DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS.

“What causes fights and quarrels? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don’t get it.”
James 4:1-2 (NIV)

It is natural be selfish. Is human nature. 

“Selfishness only causes trouble.”

Pr. 28:25 (TEV)

SELFLESSNESS BUILDS THEM.

A little bit less of me, a little bit more of you.

Show people kindness and selflessness 

“Look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own.”

Phil. 2:4 (TEV)

Being selflessness is like 

1. Small group "show up"

2. Accepted new people in the group

3. Listening to people. Give people time and attention. 

4. Being a host.

“The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others – and ignoring God – harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, and eternal life.”
Gal. 6:8 (Mes)

Be selflessness with the spirit of God inside you.

“Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.”

Gal. 5:16 (Mes)

2. PRIDE DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS.

“Pride leads to arguments.”

Pr. 13:10 (LB)

 “Pride will destroy a person: a proud attitude leads to ruin.”

Pr. 16:18 (NCV)

“First pride, then the crash – the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.”

(Mes)

BE HUMBLE BUILDS THEM.

“Live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion, and be humble.”

1 Peter 3:8 (GW)

“ ...Be humble and give more honor to others than to yourselves...your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though He was God, He did not demand and cling to His rights as God.”
Phil. 2:3, 5-6 (NCV/NLT)

3. INSECURITY DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS.

Insecurity prevent intimacy.

We fear of:

1. Exposure 

2. Rejected 

“The fear of human opinion disables.”

Pr. 29:25 (Mes)

Adam: “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

Gen. 3:10 (NIV)

LOVE BUILDS THEM.

“Love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid... it shows that His love has not been perfected in us.”
1 John 4:18 (NLT)

Imagine how God's love you, you will not live in other's expectation.

“All who proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them... We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in Him. God is love ... And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid...”

1 John 4:15-17 (NLT)

4. RESENTMENT DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS.

We gonna been hurt intentionally or unintentionally

Common irritation:

1. Always late- give explanation

2. Talk to long - TMI too much information

3. EGR extra grace require.

“To worry yourself to death with resentment is a foolish, senseless thing to do.”

Job 5:2 (TEV)

Resentment is sin, it only hurt you. 

Get anger but not sin

“Since my heart was embittered and my soul deeply wounded, I was stupid and could not understand.”

Ps. 73:21-22 (NAB)

Purpose of small group, got people help me think rationally.

 Learn to be honest in group, we only grow in honestly.

Speaking the truth in love. 

People we want to love the most, we end up resenting the most. 

“Look after each other... Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives.”

Heb. 12:15 (LB)

FORGIVENESS BUILDS THEM.

“You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Col. 3:13 (NLT)

Reasons of Forgiveness:

1. For your own benefit

2. Been forgiven by God

3. Need more forgives in future.

“Once our lives were full of resentment and envy. But then... Christ saved us – not because we were good enough to be saved but because of His kindness and love – by washing away our sins and giving us the new joy of the indwelling Holy Spirit... all because of what Jesus our Savior did so that He could declare us good in God’s eyes.” Titus 3:3-7 (LB)

The Lord says, “Forget what happened before and do not think about the past. I am going to do something new... I will make rivers on dry land.”
Isaiah 43:18-19 (GW)